But then there's Canadian politics.

For example, what harm might be done by a party member who, after being elected to office in the Plaid Party, suddenly changes his mind and joins the Paisley Party? Is Plaid Party person now acting in my best interest, or are they acting in their own?

In good faith, I voted to have a Plaid Party person running my business for me because I like Plaid Party principles. I did not ask for Paisley Party principles; in fact, I just voted against them.

So what good is it doing me, or my vote, if the person I chose has suddenly become a switch hitter in the middle of the ninth inning, bases loaded, two men out? It doesn't do much good for my political ideals, or the way governments conduct people's lives; or, rather, "orchestrate."

And I think it's long past time for there to be consequences.

If a person crosses the floor to the Other Side (by which I do not mean the much-lamented former drinking haunt of me and some of my friends during our misspent youth), that person shouldn't be able to continue reaping the benefits of the things that put them in power to begin with, i.e., the votes of me and my aforementioned drinking buddies.

(Most of us gave up paisley when we discarded being '80s-era mods and adopted a more plaid-like outlook on life, becoming '90s-era Madchester and grunge addicts and devotees of the god-like Pixies.)

All kidding aside, though, don't you think your vote should count in the place you put it, given that we have a party system in this country?

I don't believe any of us should be put in the position of having to vote against ourselves (sounds naughty), which is essentially what a floor-crossing would equate to. Sure, you vote for a person, but you don't just vote for a person.

Voting for the party is like religion in this country: a good chunk of the time people don't give a flying tinker's toy box whose name is on the ballot, so long as they belong to the right party. So how 'bout some recourse when a person divorces that party?

It seems to me that the best way to affect someone in government is to threaten either their status or their wallet-or both. So here are a few choices for payback :

If you decide to cross the floor, you must repay all the money you reaped from the party that got you elected. Furthermore, you automatically lose your seat. So, really, you win-a battle of personal conscience that reaps you no actual benefits.

And now that you've done so, there's also the joy of facing the judgement of those who followed their conscience when they elected you, and will follow it when they hand you your hat. Don't cry foul, matey; they're just doing to you what you did to them: asking for their conscience to remain intacta.

You are also ineligible for any potential by-election that happens in your riding because of your move, and must wait until the next full election to run again. Or, if you wish to run, the party in whose bosom you now rest must foot the bill for said by-election. The people already paid for their choice; they shouldn't pay twice. (We have the GST for that.) Oh, I can just about smell the love this would generate.

There's really only one major flaw in my theories of punishment: people who don't cross because they don't want to face the storm it would kindle, and who then fail to work in the interest of the party that got them elected. Or worse, even go so far as to work to its detriment.

We'll call this double-dealing, mole-type bullshit, yet how this would be different from a good bit of what goes on in the political forum now I'd be hard-pressed to figure out.

I'd like to say I had a vehicle for effecting some kind of political alteration but I don't, and anything else I might add right now would leave me sounding preachy; I would have about as much popularity as the jerk at the back of the bar who keeps shouting for the band to play "Freebird."

Yet whatever the consequences might be, and despite its rarity and the fact that we don't ever seem to question it when it happens, crossing the floor of Parliament shouldn't go unnoticed, or garner only a little ill will as its punishment.

I made a choice at the polls and I'd like to have at least some modicum of my integrity held up. If they can't do it, I'll happily send them packing, but they'll go bare-handed-not with the contents of the mini-bar in the hotel room of my political ideals.

- - - - -

Crossing the Floor

Originally published in The Voice Magazine 2008-07-04. Note: This has been altered somewhat by the editor, whose job it is, much as we may dislike it, to do so.

If you can't have a good time to this song, well, hmm, silly person!

The other day someone mocked me for listening to Leon Redbone. Then he went and listened to some, and now he likes it. To that end, I share another Dixieland tune that I'm very fond of.

Yes, that's right, a Beatles cover - and it's damned lovely.

• 01:44 Today I was walking past a video store that offers video format CONVERTIONS. (That sound was the sound I make when I wince.)

If you've seen the film Juno, then you'll recognise this as the theme song. There are other versions of it, but this one seems to be the best so far. If you haven't seen Juno, do so.

Listen: Luther Wright & The Wrongs: Run Like Hell

You ain't heard Run Like Hell til you've heard it done bluegrass!

A few glitches in the file, but nothing that would disturb your pleasure or understanding. They're very slight, and I have been trying to find a better version.

No downloading is involved in the sharing of this tune. Just click, and listen.

Strummerville

A charitable organisation providing resources, performance opportunities, and more, for musicians that might not otherwise have them.

Fray

Having evolved from its storytelling original form, the Fray now publishes a quarterly filled with original stories and art from you.

My 46000

Saving one square mile of ocean by picking up forty-six thousand pieces of trash found whilst walking on nearby beaches.

Non-Profit Ideas

So you're looking for something to do, but can't quite come up with an idea. Here's a few.

Invent Geek

Celebrating the creative powers of the geek. This could be you!

Instructables

Calling itself the world's biggest show and tell, this site does nothing but showcase the ideas and projects of its members. This also could be you.

• 20:19 I'm right now looking at a website that has "The Wall" listed as a comedy. Why no, I'm not kidding.

• 02:49 Whilst playing online Scrabble today, I realised I had all the letters for the word "felch". Sadly, nowhere to place it. Life is cruel.
• 02:54 Wish me a Happy one, kids. It's been three years today since I've had a cigarette.
• 04:49 How come dawn can't come without bird chirping? Couldn't they save it for some later portion of the day? Or do it at night maybe?
• 06:34 If you don't make hay while the sun shines...

It's not terribly exciting, though it does have interesting bits. I think, like the last couple, Insurrection in particular, it might have been better off as an episode rather than a full-length film. Actually, to be honest, and as much as I adore Patrick Stewart, I haven't really enjoyed the Trek films he's been at the helm of the Enterprise for as much as I've liked many of the Kirk ones.

Okay, well, I wasn't expecting that to happen - and now I'm all weepy.

• 19:10 If someone says "chick ute" to you, you don't have to slap 'em.

Rocks harder, better, longer, and more enjoyably.

I say the Guess Who rocks way harder. SOME PEOPLE seem to think I'm mistaken, but that person's not even Canadian, so which of us knows better, RIGHT?

People bug me for photographs, and I keep saying no because I don't want this phase of my physical being recorded. It's not terribly photogenic, and I really don't want evidence of it. But I think I've just realised what the real crux of the reason is.

In this physical condition I just don't feel like me. I am not comfortable in this skin, because I don't feel it belongs to the person on the inside of it. It is not the person I was, nor want to be. It doesn't look like me, or feel like me, and I don't want to remember it if it ever goes away.

Some of them look almost evil. They certainly don't look like birds. They don't even look aerodynamic.

My grandmother has one of those large fake owls on her balcony. Someone told her that it would scare away pigeons. Perhaps in someone else's universe it does, but the photos we have of pigeons sitting on its head would seem to lend deniability to claims of effectiveness.

I didn't know she had it until the day I went out to hang laundry on the line, looked up, and was confronted by its rather ominous presence.

I believe my reaction was, "Fuck me!"